Saturday, April 18, 2009

Seriously??

Well once again these last few days have been horrible. We got our final blood test result back.The test that we had done through our maternal/fetal specialist was a blood antibody test.
This tested the levels of the antibodies I presently have in my blood. They did this because a significant amount of Jayden's blood had   bled out into mine when he hemorrhaged. Unfortunately, my test results came back with positive antibodies. A very large amount of IgE antibodies. (Immunoglobulin E). The nurse practitioner that I talked to on the phone was not very specific so I still have tons and tons of questions. I have put a phone call into my OB to see if she can clarify the details
From what my research has shown, (aka google and medical journals) Hyper-IgE causes immune disorders. Such as allergies to dogs, cats, house dust mites, milk and eggs. It also can cause recurrent infections to the eyes, ears, sinuses and lungs.
In biology, Immunoglobulin E (IgE) is a class of antibody (or immunoglobulin "isotype") that has only been found in mammals. It plays an important role in allergy, and is especially associated with type 1 hypersensitivity.[1] Although IgE is typically the least abundant isotype - blood serum IgE levels in a normal ("non-atopic") individual are only 0.05% of the IgG concentration[7], compared to 10 mg/ml for the IgGs (the isotypes responsible for most of the classical adaptive immune response) - it is capable of triggering the most powerful immune reactions.
Now, the nurse said that with future pregnancies, I will have to be monitored very closely. They will do a 12 week amnio and do a DNA analysis to determine what is going on. Depending on those results, we will most likely have to go back for many ultrasounds and tests to monitor. Because from what I understand, my body is going to treat the baby as if it is an allergen. meaning I am technically going to be allergic to the baby and that my antibodies will try to fight it off since it has a resistance to Jayden's blood type now.  She said that future pregnancies can come out just fine,  I will just be very high risk and have lots of monitoring.
To be honest, I do not want a sick child. But I would like a living child and deal with asthma. (asthma seems to be the most likely result out of all the ones listed above, those are just possibilities not for sure problems).
I am still very nervous about getting pregnant again. Apart of me wants a baby so badly and would deal with asthma or other infections etc. But at the same time I feel selfish for even thinking about putting my child through that. I honestly can't tell you how I feel. I'm just so torn and my heart is so broken. I want to have my own children so badly. I am ready to be a mother. I just feel... well, selfish i guess. Josh and I did agree that if this pregnancy did not work out that we would look into adoption. But that will be a last resort.
For this month, we test on the 24th, which is JB's 21th birthday. I have mixed feelings about whether or not I want to be pregnant or not. I do more than anything but like I said, there are so many risks. But if I am, I will be so happy. I may not show it at first and I'll be scared out of my mind but the thought of a baby in my arms makes me smile. Jayden needs a little brother or sister.
Well on a lighter note, JB has drill this weekend. So I am going to hang out with my mom in the morning tomorrow and then stay the night with one of the girls we go to support group with. Her husband is gone with the military as well so figured a girls weekend sounded like a good idea.  Pizza, movies and being bums!!
Well I'll update more once I talk with our OB tomorrow or monday. Probably monday. Have a great weekend world!!!
love,
Me.

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