Well, here I sit... bored... I've been trying to keep myself busy lately but it's hard to do that. Soon enough though my appointments will start 2x per week and I'm sure that it will exhaust me. I'm starting to get to the point where my anxiety is taking over the slight excitement I was able to churn up. The closer I get to the end (or beginning if you will) the more my excitement fades into these fears of "what ifs" and "I need her out while she's alive".
I can't seem to get that out of my head! She's alive right now and doing fantastic.... But so was Jayden at this point. It's driving me crazy that I don't have that milestone to hurdle over. My milestone won't be until that baby is in my arms safe and sound (or screaming preferably). I'm just so anxious for this all to be over and to get moved and settle and focus on a new part of life. One that doesn't consist of self injections, big bellies, restrictions, and constant reminders of what I should already have.
Rylee herself is doing great though, she's very active. She loves to kick me in my ribs and gets very upset if I lean forward at all lol. I'm starting to notice her awake/sleep patterns so I am learning not to freak out and poke and prod when she isn't moving much. Our last ultrasound with the specialist showed low risk for anemia again so we have the okay to schedule our c-section date with our regular OB Dr. A. I'm very excited.
I did get fantastic news this last week also. JB should graduate on 3/25/2010 and return home the next day. 3/25 is the first day of my 37th week. We were not expecting him home until 4/7/2010 and thinking he would miss Rylee's delivery. However, things are finally starting to fall into place. Friday I'm going to see what Dr. A has open for 3/29-3/31 for a scheduled c-section. 4/1 starts my 38th week and that's the week that we got to when things looked okay on the one ultrasound and three days later Jayden passed away. So I absolutely do not want to go past my 37th week. I refuse. I won't do it. I will deliver this baby on my own lol! So we'll see what our regular OB says!
I also get to go visit JB this weekend at Knox. I'm excited because the only military "base" I've been on is camp Atterberry and that doesn't count because it's not an active army base. Just a training/mob/de-mob facility. But I'm excited to go and visit JB and spend some time with him :) Training has been going slow for him not sure if it's just because he's an NCO/E-5 or something else but I'm sure he'll enjoy getting off base too! And I made sure to get a hotel with an indoor pool ;) Super excited about swimming!! LOL